I can't believe I've already reached three decades of my life. I used to think people in their 30's are already old, have their life together, and have insane savings stashed away. That's why Jenna wished for this moment in 13 going on 30 right? Because she's sick of being a pre-teen going through puberty. But now that I'm officially just one year shy from being out of a calendar month... Jeez, I feel the same. Just with a slower metabolism or as my co-worker would say it "same-same, but different".
But before I fully embark on this new chapter let me share with you some wisdom that I have learned over my roaring 20's. *reeeewwwrrr* Haha.
1. You can't force your belief on others
Maiistress ka lang. Just because one person is doing it differently, it doesn't automatically make them wrong. It's just that they are set in their own ways the same way you are. You'll both have the same results in the end anyway. Don't sweat it. Our differences actually make us interesting species and we should learn to accept that.
2. --But it doesn't mean you should change your principles in life either
If anything, I think your 20's is the time to build up a list of all the things that you believe in. This defines who you are and gives you a cause to advocate for so don't be ashamed.
3. It's totally okay if it seems like nahuhuli ka na sa mga kasabayan mo
Success isn't defined by how quick you get to the things you want but rather the journey it took you to get there. Yes cliché, but we each have our own timeline so stop comparing yourself to others. One day, your time will come, your season will arrive, kaya chill ka lang.
4. Don't try too hard to fit in
When I was younger, I tried so hard for people to like me. I wanted to be the Miss Congeniality who charms everyone that she meets. I cared about how many friends I have on my social media and about how many people know me at school/work. But as the years went by, I realized that I don't need ALL of these people to like me. Some would find me masungit or unfriendly and I can't please these people. So why bother? At the end of the day I think it's more important to be kind, never mind the follower count.
5. "Sa dami ng mga magiging kaibigan mo, kaunti lang and matitira"
I remember my Dad always telling me this and I used to get annoyed whenever he does. But now that I think about it, it's true and that's okay. We meet people so we can both learn life lessons from each other. Every friend has a season in our life and not everyone is meant to stay but we can select and keep the ones who mattered.
6. I appreciate low maintenance friends
You know those friends whom even though you haven't talked to in months or even years, just pick up the conversation where you left them off like no time has passed? Or those friends who aren't too "sensitive" even if you're just not in the mood to go out or join a party? These are the friends who feel like a good series you don’t mind watching over and over again. They feel like home. Friendship shouldn't be superficial. You go beyond attending their parties or talking every day. It means showing up not just on the days #ForTheGram but more especially on the days when they themselves can’t even show up for the world.
7. Choose your battles and don't be quick to anger
As you go through life, there would be a handful of people who will try to bring out the worst in you. It could be as simple as that rude cash registrar or that ominous know-it-all “Karen”. When you encounter these people, remember to stay calm. And as you count from 10-1, try to weigh if this is a fight you're willing to waste your energy on. Maybe they're just having a bad day? Or a bad life? Who knows? Either way- let it go.
8. Stand up for yourself if you feel like you've been wronged
Now after you assess the situation and you realize that this is just not right… say it to that person. Say it calmly and say it in private. You don’t need everybody in the room to spectate into the drama. Plus saying it this way makes you an adult. Sure you don’t want to be the next viral sensation on social media (at least not this way). And if the other party has the same thinking, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it too.
9. It's never too late to explore/learn something new
So what if you’re stuck in your boring and stressful job for nearly ten years? That shouldn’t stop you from learning a new baking recipe or to learn how to speak French/Spanish or even just to pack your bags and brave a new country all by yourself (hopefully when *this* is over. Remember the only thing stopping you from doing this is yourself.
10. The right person will come at the right time
I used to think that I will meet the person of my dreams while drinking my latte in my favorite coffee shop, or maybe while I’m browsing through books in a book shop, or maybe while I stare out into the ocean as I admire the sunset. I didn’t. What my 20’s (and the year 2020) taught me is that you can never plan what you want to happen next. You can dream about having the perfect mee-cute, but God has already laid out the most perfect love story for you. You may not have seen your person yet but you can prepare for when that day comes. And for me, although I met him through the most unexpected of circumstances (Online, and he’s in New Jersey) we are making it work.
11. Be a person of few words
Wag na madaming hanash. You don’t need to explain every little detail to everyone. Life is not a press conference, it’s a 280 character tweet. The less you say, the less room for haters to comment. The wittier and shorter, the better.
Love, Hannah